Saturday, August 14, 2010

Changes

Have you ever wanted to just throw you most precious things in your car, sell everything else, and run away? Start over anew somewhere else?

I have. More and more everyday. Looking over my life I have realized that there is really nothing keeping me here. Except maybe the economy. I don't have any close friends here. Never had time to make any. I have many accaintainces, but no one to really miss me. My sisters are here, but they have their own lives and they rarely call me much less spend time with me. I have Cory here, but he said he might move in with his mom if she found a place away from her boyfriend or go live with his younger brother when he goes off to college.

As for this house. My name is not on the contract. Dad and Mom's is and they are both dead. I was recently told that the mortgage company can sell it out from under me after I made many payments on it. And they are ****** enough to just do that if I am late on a payment. Also, this neighborhood is going downhill. The guy that owns the houses around me is just renting to anyone. I am so tired of seeing the cops out here alot. Even as I write this the constable is next door banging on the door. I also don't like being this far out in the boonies. I want to be in town.

I found a nice apartment complex in town I might check out if I decide to stay here. Cory could stay with me then. And they accept pets. And have a pool, basketball court, party hall, and gym. I am so tempted to move. Did I also mention that in the winter I won't be freaking out about having to try to get home from work in the snow because the roads will be cleared.

More debating will be needed here. Comments?

3 comments:

Umā said...

I think change can be good as long as you listen to your gut and feel comfortable with the process. It sounds like an apartment complex in town would be much more convenient and potentially safer in several ways.

I read a quote somewhere though that struck me (I used to move constantly, every 3 months or so), "Wherever you go, there you are." It helped me to realize that for a long time I was trying to move away from some aspects of my life that had nothing to do with my street address. So now whenever I think of moving (as in my desire to move to NYC for several year) I consider this quote. In the case of NYC it was fairly easy to see (after a while) that I was trying to move someplace that would totally distract me from the pain of my mom's illness and my own feeling of helplessness and despair.

This may not apply to your situation at all, (sounds you have very legitimate reasons for wanting to move!) but just wanted to share it anyway.

Quill and Greyson said...

Sounds like a perfect time to do what makes YOU happy!! Figure that out and then do it! Why not be happy?

As long as you can have cats...

Patti Edmon Artist said...

your post breaks my heart... I am very emotional and sentimental, however, I'm sorry for your situation. Having friends around you, some kind of support network, is so important. I spend quite a bit of time at home (chronic illness) so a lot of my relationships are with blogger/artist pals. They may not be in the room with you physically but I'll bet you have a lot who are with you in your heart. sounds like you need to sell your place and decide what you want in life - you're really talented and that counts for so much. I hope I don't sound preachy - I'm not, just trying to offer a bit of support. Hope you find a sense of direction soon - take good care!